Sunday, 08 November 2009

• Co-dependency, frustration and family OH MY

  Today has been one of those frustration days...well it actually started with a call from my dad last night.
  
  
  
  We were talking about attending church at my dad's church....As of late we've been frustrated at churches in general but I will get to that in a later post. My dad had asked if we were going to church with him tomorrow because my grandmother was going along...and I told him that I didn't know because my middle child was looking forward to going to the "XBOX" church thats what he calls it. He calls it this because he gets to play XBOX at this church. but I digress
  
  My dad continues to say that maybe my grandma will be going to church next week....then there was a pause and my dad told me basically my grandma said it was this week or no week.....Ill be honest I felt like backed into a corner of co-dependence so I gracefully told my dad that we might go or we might go somewhere else and we left the conversation at that.
  
  I then talked with my wife because we discuss everything before either one of us makes a decision  it is one of those lets talk before it becomes a problem later type of things....we had a discussion about what we wanted to do and we decided to give my grandmother a pleasant church experience...so we talk to my son to make sure it was OK with him. and then we called my father to let him know we were going.
  
  Fast-forward until this morning my dad calls us up and tells us that grandma is no longer going to church with him (her cat was coughing up hairballs all night) so we can do what we were planning and attend the "XBOX" church.
  
  This just happens to be a small example of the problems I have dealing with my family. I know it does not seem like a huge problem. But I have lived most my life in co-dependence and manipulation and have spent most of my adult life changing the way I approach people so I don't fall  into my families footsteps of manipulation. I really dont want my kids to have to deal with manipulation especially from family who they should be able to trust to look out for their best interests.
  
  Maybe I am making a big deal about things where there shouldnt be but sometimes there are things in you life that you want to eliminate and when you finally get those things gone from you life it is those things that irritate you the most.
  
  I want kids to have a chance to dream of becoming something like I did in my life, and when you're living in a home that's dysfunctional and unhealthy that way, you don't dream like that.
  Picabo Street
  
  
  
  

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